Saturday, November 20, 2010

HUMOUR: Struggling to replicate a scholar bio

I just read the biography of a prominent Shaykh al-Hadith Fadhilat al-Shaykh Maulana Mulay Kiai Ayatullah Hujjat al-Islam Abul Bayan Pir Murshid on the website of Seekers Guidance, an offshoot of Sunni Path.

I am totally bowled over by the greatness of this shaykh. I wondered what it would be like to replicate his bio. I'll give it a go.

“Know that if you pray for courage, Allah will not give you "courage”, but put you in real situations where you have the opportunity to cultivate courage; if you pray for patience and strength, that He will place you in situations so that you may strengthen yourself with patience. That is the true meaning of tests of life that Allah bestows upon you- they are all truly a Magisterial Favour upon you from your Lord, The Wise!” -- Imam Afroz Ali

"Shut the hell up, you right wing fascist bull artist!!" -- Irfan Yusuf's fiance

Imam Afroz Ali can clearly remember himself as a child watching his father (may Allah sanctify his soul) pursue his two greatest passions: serving others and teaching. This powerful relationship with a man who was both friend and father, who nurtured him in sometimes surprising ways, inspired in Imam Afroz a deep understanding the power of role models and leaders to nurture excellence in an individual. Inspired to be a part of positive action in his community, Imam Afroz began the journey of a student of knowledge.

Irfan Yusuf can clearly remember his father, a university academic, telling him to get off his fat backside and do some study instead of wasting time reading Maududi books or hanging out with the Tabligh Jamaat. As a teenager, Irfan in turn wondered why his father wasted so much time listening to Mehdi Hasan ghazals when U2 has just released their Under A Blood Red Sky live EP. I mean, who could compare this ...

... with this ...


Still, Professor Yusuf did instil in Irfan a love of books and an insistence that one should only claim the academic qualifications one actually holds. May Allah grant the good Professor a long life, and may God transform the grave of Abu Afroz into a garden of divine light.

Those studies have taken Imam Afroz from university-based academia (the Islamic University in Madina, Saudi Arabia) to more traditional studies in Yemen, the United States and Mauritania. He has received licences to teach from some of the most esteemed Islamic Scholars of our time. He has also travelled to Cairo, Egypt for further studies in Islamic Jurisprudence with Scholars at al-Azhar University and is on the Board of Advisors at Markaz Aleem in Cairo, Egypt.

Irfan obtained his license to drive a motor vehicle from the NSW Motor Registry in Ryde. He has had his license suspended on a number of occasions. Irfan's studies have taken him from a pre-school in Boronia Park (behind the tennis courts) to Ryde East Primary School to St Andrews Cathedral School to Macquarie University to the University of Technology Sydney. Each year, Irfan completes at least 10 compulsory professional development (CPD) points of training.

Irfan studied in a Karachi madressa at age 6 where an oversized Maulana (may Allah have mercy on him) used to bash the crap out of him and all the other students (may Allah definitely have mercy on the Maulana!). He was also brainwashed by his darling mother with copious amounts of Tafhim al-Qur'an, Khutnaat, Tablighi Nisab, Behishti Zewar and numerous other Urdu books printed on cheap rice paper. Irfan spent a fair amount of time trying to figure out what kind of Muslim he was. Don't expect him to write it all here. You can spend arouund A$25 and read 80,000 words of the stuff by clicking here.

Irfan did attend a whole year of masters level lectures on public international law at ANU. He handed in assignments and even passed the course but got bored sh*tless with the degree. Presumably that means he has an ijaza in public international law and can now lecture at Harvard or the Islamic University outside Madina. But he won't tell anyone that, and will let his future students and other gullible people assume that he has a full degree in international law from ANU and/or that he held an academic post at ANU.

to be continued ...

Words © 2010 Irfan Yusuf

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Suleiman said...

This is turning into a clash of epic proportions.....(I smell a movie deal!)

irfy said...

Yeah. I'm trying to sell it to Abrahams and Zucker. I'm not sure who Leslie Nielsen will play.

Anonymous said...

The fact that Faraz Rabbani & co endorse ignoramuses like Afroz Ali is testament that they are themselves scholars for dollars.

Anonymous said...

salam irfan,

Has afroz ali provided any qualifications yet? I started a course at seekers guidance, where he explained a text called the treatise for the seekers of guidance. Fortunately it didnt cost me anything, since the lectures provided were devoid of content and utterly boring. It sounded like he just has heard a lot of lectures by hamza yusuf et al, so i googled his bio and unsurprisingly I found out afroz ali's qualifications were under suspicion.

Anonymous said...

Purplehaze, Afroz Ali is a fraud with no qualifications but his sycophantic murids too deserve to be robbed of their money in bright daylight by people like him for believing all the crock he feeds them. If Faraz Rabbani endorses him, then, erm.... you do the math! :)