Some months back, I completed the manuscript of my book, a memoir about my flirtation with certain forms of “political” Islam during the 1980’s and ‘90’s.
I got up to some pretty freaky stuff back then. But I couldn’t help wondering after I finished the manuscript – why would anyone want to buy my book in particular? After all, it’s not as if my activities were anything worth grabbing that fridge magnet for. (Isn’t it funny how no one seems to remember the phone number on that fridge magnet ...)
I did read a few books by the likes of Maududi and Shariati and Maryam Jameelah. I even contemplated heading off to fight jihad against the Soviet Union. I certainly never attended a terrorist training camp (though a representative of the Afghan Hizb-i-Islami faction did give a Friday khutba at an AFIC camp I attended in the late 1980’s). I certainly never did exciting things like recruit hundreds of Aussie Muslim kids for al-Qaeda or one of its franchises. The closest I got to the Taleban was going on khurooj (a word meaning ... um ... don’t ask me what that word means) with the Tabligh Jamaat in the Karachi suburb of Korangi. In fact, I reckon I came closer to embracing religious extremism when I joined the Liberal Party.
For a more authentic action-packed blockbuster account of jihadist fundamentalist islamo-fascist islamist terrorist extremist extremism, I’m afraid you’ll have to wait for the release of former al-Muhajiroun spokesman Hassan Butt’s memoirs. Entitled The Trouble With Islamist Infidel Caged Virgins, Butt’s book tells the story of a young man who once acted as al-Qaeda’s third-in-command, heading its UK operations and recruiting millions of young British Muslims for jihadi missions across the Milky Way.
In one of his more daring missions, Butt recruited suicide bombers from Mars for al-Qaeda’s first mission to the moon, hoping that their mission to destroy this huge piece of green cheese might lead to sufficient Muslim unity to launch bin-Ladin’s Caliphate-cum-dictatorship on Eid al-Fitr. If Muslims cannot find an agreed method for moon sighting, why not just martyr the moon?
And if you’re stupid enough to believe the previous two paragraphs, you’re probably as imbecilic as a host of British politicians and international media outlets, some of which paid Butt huge sums for his “exclusive” story of how he recruited hundreds of British youth.
But don’t expect many of these media outlets to admit they got sucked into Butt’s lies. It turns out that evidence of Butt’s fraud was given before a British court in December 2008, but the court placed restrictions on Butt’s testimony being made public. Those restrictions were only recently lifted. And so it’s only now that the media can report that Hassan Butt told the court that he totally fabricated his stories and told stories “the media wanted to hear”. Here’s my recreation of the court transcript based on the few media reports available:
Andrew Edis QC: So, you were a professional liar then?Before his admissions, Butt had apparently dobbed in a host of people to various law
Hassan Butt: I would make money, yes.
Andrew Edis QC: If the money’s right you’ll say absolutely anything?
Hassan Butt: Absolutely anything, yes. If I wasn’t going to cash up on it, someone else was going to cash up on it.
enforcement and intelligence authorities, claiming they were all terror “suspects” or part of “extremist cells”. Back in early 2007, Butt claimed on the US 60 Minutes program that he was an al-Qaeda insider for some 10 years, and had met the ringleader of the 7/7 bombers.
Butt went to Lahore in Pakistan after 9/11. From there, he made some highly publicised pleas for British Muslims to join him in fighting on the Taliban side in Afghanistan. By December 2001, Butt was back in England and trying to sell his story to a British tabloid for a cool £100,000. Apparently fighting for the Taliban wasn’t as lucrative as selling the story.
Since then, Butt has peddled his frauds to the highest media bidders. Butt’s high profile media appearances have also forced politicians and law enforcement officials to take him seriously. Only God knows how much time and public funds have been wasted on allowing Butt to peddle his fantasies.
Butt’s proposed memoir entitled Leaving Jihad [ed: which appears now to have changed its name to Leaving al-Qaeda] is already available from Amazon.co.uk, and you can sign up for a copy when it becomes available. If it becomes available.
In my case, I’d be happy to show you my memoirs.
Words © 2008 Irfan Yusuf
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